When it comes to sexual desire, there is no other way to describe it other than an ebb and flow. It has its perks and peaks - many people ask, "How often do couples in their 40s make love?" or "How can I spice up my sex life beyond 40?" If this is you, stay tuned. Staying kinky or full of desire isn't the goal - instead, the goal is to learn how to work with what you have and find pleasure, use it to its full potential, enjoy sex, and keep your kinky streak!
We dive into the depths of desire and ways to reignite the spark, whether for solo playtime or exploring new ways of having sex with your partners.
The Ebb and Flow of Desire: How Often Do Couples In Their 40s Make Love?
It is undeniable that life can be complicated. Your sex life changes with age. The older you get, the better sex gets, more often than not. However, things change as you age too. Some people find themselves hornier than ever - while others will inevitably feel the ebb and flow of desire.
This ebb can be attributed to many different reasons. Some are more subtle than others. Low libido is not always something to stress about. It is usually fixable. The title of this section is intentionally misleading - the question shouldn't be quantity; it should be about quality! Quality sex is vital, so considering everything said and done, taking care of your low libido, is essential.
Here's what could be impacting your libido.
Hormonal Changes
The intricate dance of hormones influences sex drive in both men and women. For instance, testosterone levels, specifically a decline in men and shifts in estrogen levels in women, contribute to changes in sexual desire and responsiveness. These changes can lead to dryness of the vaginal tissues in women and sexual arousal in men.
Another factor that has to be considered is that hormones such as testosterone levels and estrogen can cause weight gain leading to self-confidence levels and libido taking a nose dive. This doesn't change the fact that you have sexual needs too!
Health Factors
Chronic illnesses, medications such as birth control, and physical conditions can impact libido. Addressing physical health concerns and seeking medical advice can be crucial in managing these effects. Vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction due to high blood pressure are also concerns that you can speak to your doctor about.
Whether you are living a healthy lifestyle or not, your hormones could be out of whack due to natural changes as you hit middle age. Speak to your doctor about considering a hormonal imbalance panel to find out whether that is impacting your lower sex drive.
Mental health
When you are younger, your body and the hormones fuel your sex drive - it is vital to remember that that won't always last - many young couples realize that mental health conditions and psychological factors can influence your sex drive, especially as you age. Stress and frustration can also take your sex drive on a roller coaster.
Learning to manage stress can help manage erectile dysfunction in older man, as well as low libido in women.
Manage your stress with a little solo play. Shop our toy collection here!
Embracing Kinkiness Beyond 40
So what do you do when desire takes a nose dive? First, before you dive into depression - remember that sexual health is a work in progress, and it can come and go with the ages. Your sexual life doesn't define you, neither does your sexual activity. With that covered, we can dig deeper into embracing your sexual functioning and getting your groove back!
If you are a woman, staring down the path at age 40 and wondering how to embrace the kinkiness and satisfy your sexual desires - you're in the right hands! Getting to know your own body in your younger years pays off once you hit your naughty 40s; they are a time when human sexuality is often at its peak despite hormone levels fluctuating and other issues that life throws at you.
Enhancing Intimacy
As age advances, intimacy can take on new dimensions. Exploring fantasies and embracing kinkiness can lead to deeper emotional connections and reignite passion in long-term relationships.
Overcoming Inhibitions
Age can bring a sense of self-assuredness, allowing individuals to shed inhibitions and engage in open conversations about sexual desires and preferences.
Sustaining and Reviving Sex Drive
Age has brought us the wisdom to understand that intimacy is a tapestry woven with threads of emotional closeness and shared experiences. We're discovering that regular and meaningful connections transcend the confines of traditional intercourse, reminding us that a fulfilling sex life is a symphony of sensations and emotions.
Relationship therapist writer about all things sexual health and desire relate, Michael Castleman, M.A., has noted that human sexuality and sexual health and desire shift to focusing on more pleasure than on intercourse on its own.
If you want a few tips on how you can revive and sustain a great sex life after 40, here are a few pointers.
Communication
Effective communication with partners about desires, concerns, and evolving needs is the cornerstone of maintaining a healthy sex life. Like any problem or issue, most can be solved with a simple chat. Communication is key to most issues.
Therapeutic Approaches
Couples therapy or individual counseling with a partner or a family therapist can provide tools to navigate the complexities of age-related sex drive changes, fostering understanding and connection.
Medical Interventions
In some cases, medical interventions like hormone replacement therapy or medications can help address physiological and psychological factors impacting low sex drive. It is also vital to remember that not all medical interventions involve medications - some doctors believe that a healthy dose of botanical aphrodisiacs can do the trick too!
Lifestyle Modifications
Regular exercise, a balanced diet, managing stress, and prioritizing sleep can contribute to overall well-being and positively influence sexual desire.
Combating Vaginal Dryness
It is important to remember that vaginal dryness is part and parcel of perimenopause, hormonal fluctuations, and full-blown menopause. It can come and go as you age and as life changes. Lube it up! Couples that invest in good quality lube often find that sex is better, wetter, and juicier!
Are Toys For Long-Term Relationships?
You might ask yourself, "What if I have been in a long-term relationship?" or "Are toys for us?" Sex toys such as the rose toy are absolutely for people in long-term relationships of any age. In fact it turns out that there are many rose toy benefits. As experts in this field, we can see who is placing orders, and trust us when we say this - the age range of people ordering toys is vast.
Spice Up Your Sex Life
Toys are just part of fantastic sex these days; they can help you gain confidence in solo play and help you and your partner connect and get closer. Toys can break down the barriers between you and a partner, especially if your relationship or sex life has dwindled or stagnated.
They are also perfect for times when you need a little more encouragement to get the juices flowing. Physical intimacy shifts as you mature and realize precisely what you want and need. Take the time to speak to your partner about introducing a few new toys in your couple play.
Have you considered role play? Many couples in their 40s find themselves diving into new experiences - whether they want to step into new shoes and play pretend for a few hours a week or dive head first into a little rope play. New kinks can do wonders for your sex life.
Spice your toy box up with a little something from our collection here!
Toys to Make Your 40s Interesting
Whether you are in a relationship or single many men and women find that taking their pleasure into their own hands is part of life. It is no longer taboo or strange but just part of life. Many older women and men fully embrace their kinks and enjoy sex more - with many sporting a full chest of toys by age 50.
Whether you are purchasing your toys from your local sex shop or an online store like ours - there is always a toy to suit your needs. This is why we will dive into a few of our favorites to help you choose the best one to deliver earth-shaking orgasms.
BEFORE We Dive Into Toys - Lube!
A vital factor to consider over the age of 40 is lubrication is critical. As your hormone levels and changes bring a little dryness from time to time, it is essential to invest in great lube - not good lube, not okay lube, invest in GREAT lube. Try a flavored one if you are feeling a little spicy.
Fluctuating estrogen levels are no match for a little Wicked Lube! With fresh, exciting flavors like pear and brown sugar or something sweet for simple, uncomplicated lovers. Lube is a vital part of both solo and partnered playtime. The added glide can offer you one of the best sexual experiences.
Vaginal dryness puts you at greater risk of discomfort and irritation - with a thick nonsticky lubricant, you can keep your rhythm and cut through the frustration you may feel when the juices don't want to flow even though you are hot and bothered!
Dual Action - The Pro Way
The Blossom Pro is one of our all-time favorites for couples over the age of 40 - especially for men who struggle with erectile dysfunction yet take part in couple play. The thruster is ideal for a partner wanting to control penetrative orgasms! It is also perfect for solo play.
It is the perfect toy that offers suction, vibration, and a little trust!
Get The Blossom Pro!
You Heard Right - The Lulu Is A Delight
Lulu - Lulu is going to have you screaming. The soft ears are cute and bendy, but don't let them fool you - it will make you feel utterly buttery with pleasure. It has a subtle yet commanding vibration.
The Lulu features nine vibration modes with a delightful LED light to help you find the right spots even with the lights off!
Looking For Your Peak Climax? Fuji Will Take You There
We like to think of the Fuji suction toy as a classy lady - with soft butterfly kiss-like suction that builds in intensity, it is perfect for the most sensitive spots.
Perfect as foreplay or to bring you over that edge as you peak!
Get Ready To Pet That Kitty!
Cute - Soft - Silky - Powerful. This kitty paw is as powerful as a panther. It purrs with a tapping mode, perfect for clitoral stimulation. In contrast, offering a strong, powerful vibrating function on the bottom half of the wand.
This wand is perfect for couples that truly like a powerful toy to help navigate them to the very top of a climax!
Maybe a Little Suction To Help
Boring date nights are a thing of the past. Whether you have chosen to date yourself and work on your own pleasure or to incorporate a toy into your relationship plays - the Blossom Suction Rose Toy is the right choice.
It is perfect for couples that want to explore their erogenous zones, for a little foreplay, or to help you reach earth-shattering orgasms.
In Conclusion | Sex After 40 Is About Finding Your Groove
Sex plays a major role in our lives, it is the benchmark of where we are in a relationship in the younger years, and as you age, you will find that the benchmark of sex shifts. It becomes about intimacy and connection more than intercourse. It becomes about finding new ways to reach an orgasm and exploring your or your partner's needs as a man or woman over 40.
You learn to work with what you have, adjust where needed, and appreciate pleasure in any way you find it. Whether you are exploring your needs with a new partner, with yourself, or with a lifelong partner - there is no shame in adding a few toys to your collection or exploring new ways to orgasm.
